Double bind early in childhood…

April 14, 2012 § Leave a comment

If you aren’t capable of treating a child with enough respect, either as a mom or a dad or both, can you later really blame that child for hiding her light under the bushel, having a bad self-esteem and making herself invisible? Making her really feel wrong.

Is this what you would call double bind or double punishment?

“‘Double punishment’

This technique is slightly less obvious than the others. It is more a case of a culturally driven phenomenon that is fairly widespread in modern society. A typical example is the difficulty of reconciling different roles at home and at work.

Women are accused by those around them – more or less explicitly – of being inadequate mothers if they pursue careers. At the same time, they are thought to lack the necessary commitment at work if they give precedence to their home and family.

If they choose both, dissatisfaction may well grow in both quarters. Women may succumb to all the pressure and abandon their careers.

Double punishment can sometimes be difficult to deal with, but here are some hints:

• Be very careful when choosing your partner for life…

• …and be even more careful when choosing who you work for. Insist on the right to say no – or yes – to the boss without this leading to punishment of some kind, such as being bypassed for promotion.

• Estimate how much time you spend on housework and then come to an agreement with your partner, so that you share it equally.”

What would the adequate reaction from the child be, if she or he was allowed to react?



April 8, 2012 § 8 Comments

How is it with those quite moralizing saying that you should support yourself and not live – on the state? How many of those are really, and genuinely, supporting themselves? How many of those have been and still are living on for instance a spouse I started to wonder on a walk in the woods today?

Physical exercise makes you start to ponder over things, be creative and solve problems – also.

How is it actually? Are people supporting themselves their whole lives? Can they? Are they capable? Despite all kinds of conditions, circumstances and life events?

And how many are actually wanting to live on somebody else? It’s okay if it’s a spouse even a whole life, but not if it should be “on the state” or on welfare? Not even if it was for a short time? Not even if that person didn’t have anyone that could support her or him, doesn’t even have a spouse to live on?

And this talk about “freedom”? Do those “swearing allegiance” to freedom really allow other the people the freedom they are talking so loudly about and praising? Are they really allowing other people (for instance those standing closest) the freedom to think for themselves and believe what they believe in?

Are the people that are talking far and wide about freedom really as broad-minded or “liberal” as they directly or indirectly are asking other people to be?

What would actual freedom be?

And what about respect? True, genuine? To listen and be listened to?

Only certain people are worth it? Preferably those with a position in the society? And only certain women?

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